Soft Swingers � Reality or Fantasy ???

There supposedly has developed a new group of people that are searching sanctuary under the Swinging umbrella. This demographic wishes to be referred to as SOFT-SWINGERS. In examining closer, does this entity actually exist or is it similar to an urban legend or UFO sighting?

The first examination of the term is to identify by definition its true meaning. Considering the overall term doesn�t appear with meaning in the formal English language, we must break down to overall phraseology into legible portions.

Soft, by definition: � having relatively low energy, not firmly committed, not rigid or firm �. (re: Mirriam-Webster Dictionary). No matter which of the three meanings these people would like us to use, it is quite evident that none of them seem to be excessively attractive when preceding anything referring to sexuality.

The word Swinger does constitute a very specific meaning and significance. By true definition Swinger = � A member of a couple that exchanges sexual partners for the purpose of intercourse�. (re: The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language).

Attempting to combine these two words becomes a horrifying nightmare for any linguist or English language scholar. We can only consider the correct designation to reflect something as: �A low energy, not committed couple with a male that doesn�t get hard; who want to have sex with other people�. WOW. Now that sounds attractive for weekend fun!

Historically, the origin of the term Soft-Swinger stems back to the 1980�s and a Lifestyle Club in Ohio. They coined the phrase after struggling financially. They knew that they MUST open their doors to a wider cross section of customers to survive. At the time there were a multitude of On-premise, Off-premise and dance clubs competing for the limited number of true swingers entry fees. Considering that only 40% of swingers ever visit a club of any kind, the business of running a Swingers club was becoming as cut-throat as the used car industry. After allowing Single males to attend their club on a limited basis, a move that made them instant money but chased many legitimate couples running for private parties, the Club ownership brainstormed an NEW IDEA. If they would allow couples to attend that wanted to �Watch Swingers in live action�, then they could quadruple their possible membership base instantaneously. And thus began the NEW marketing of the swinging lifestyle to sexless non-swap Swingers.

Humourlessly, the terminology �Soft Swingers� was originally a terribly derogatory term labelled as an insulting joke towards these people by Real Swingers. They were actually referring to the fact that the men from these type of couples were valueless to the overall swapping party and were as useless as a SOFT COCK (hence the original name SOFT COCK SWINGERS, that was eventually shortened to just SOFT SWINGERS).

With the explosion of the VHS video tape porn market, watching couples have sex became as simple as driving to the corner store or picking up the phone and having tapes delivered to your home. What was missing however was the true reality of the occurrence that could not be experienced on the 20 inch television screen! Some strip clubs began to offer Men & Women nights where strippers of both sexes would perform and sometimes portrait pretend sexual encounters on stage, however due to heavily enforced laws in almost all jurisdictions, actual sexual contact was forbidden. This left a huge void for the true Voyeur couple that wanted to live open sexuality vicariously through others. And hence began the growth of the Soft Swing promotions.

Almost immediately there entered another unsuspecting group into the equation as well. Although never conceiving or preplanning an advertising campaign directed at attracting non-Swingers who were simply into having people look at their bodies, the timing accidently coincided with the fitness fitness industry explosion. With millions of bodies flocking to the local gym after work to tighten the ass, build muscles and lift and separate the boobs, people who were never popular in school now had chiselled bodies that they needed to show off to as many people as possible. With the normal bar scene becoming inundated with micro-mini skirts, tube tops and the entire disco fashion scene, it simply wasn�t fulfilling enough for the Popeye�s and breast implants to show off their New and Improved physiques. And hence the bombardment of Exhibitionist that began to flock to the Swingers clubs. Their intent was NEVER to actually do ANYTHING sexual with ANYONE, its was simply to BE SEEN by as many people as possible and have as many people hit on them as possible. As an aside, Psychologically these people represent a cross-section of individuals that are in need of personal attention, the more attention the lessened the inferiority complex that brews within them.

Fast-forward 25 years. The new generation is unaware of the past and most either flunked out of history class or skipped out of it to take a Literature resources class on Library management. They are also totally oblivious to the fact that they are purposely calling themselves after a rude slang term. I suppose it�s better than labelling themselves as Nazi-Swingers or something else that transpired before they were born. They are however, most certainly as unaware of the total disdain that True Swingers have for this group who have been forcing to be combined under the same umbrella. There was once an on-premise dance party held in London, Ontario. 30 couples attended at a local hotel banquet room. After conversation with ALL people present, it was revealed that 27 couples had NEVER actually had sex with anyone other than their partner, AND that 27 couple had NO INTEREST in EVER Swinging with anyone. As one man honestly put, �there was nothing else going on, so we thought it might be fun to see what Swingers do�. Another couple admitted that they sit and play Mental Matchmaker, imagining what it may look like if one couple ended up fucking another. By the way, of the 3 actual Swinging Couples that were present, 2 were the organisers of the party {which in itself can be a bit surprising because less than 50% of Swing Club owners actually Swing, to most it�s simply an under the table business venture).

In conclusion:
Soft Swingers are represented by 3 specific categories:
#1 = Voyeurs. They would love to stare at your ass as you are having sex.
#2 = Exhibitionists. They are there so that you will look at them.
#3 = Wannabees. Primarily men that would love to become a full swap Swinger IF their wife would allow it, but since she won�t then this is his consolation prize.

Note: During this article, we haven�t touched on the Soft Swingers that do not swing because of jealously issues. Jealousy is an extensive discussion that can and will affect everyone at one point or another, the mature individuals are successful in dealing with it. We disregarded Soft Swing couples with jealousy issues because they simply aren�t relevant to the overall subject. They are simply not represented in any statistic as they attend one or two events in their entire lives and then spend the remainder of their relationship fighting about those experiences.


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