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SWINGING - REAL QUESTIONS

    YOU ASK ??? and WE'LL ANSWER !!!

Q: Sometimes I feel very jealous of women my age (37) who have healthy sized boobs and seem to have a wonderful life. Their kids are carefree and their marriages seem perfect. I never want to go to swing parties or even to summer events anymore, so I don't have to be reminded of my little titties (A-cups), and shown up by what other women have. My family is losing patience with me.

A: I would say that I can understand the feeling of jealousy, but again it sounds to me like an unwillingness to accept what youíve been given. By nurturing your jealousy, you could change positions with these people. What you are really doing is punishing yourself and your family, and depriving yourself of the joy and pleasure of their company. You donít need breast implants, you need to understand the millions of men Worldwide that LOVE smaller chested women. So I would say don't give up any more on things in your life, book a trip to Asia where you will begin to understand the beauty of nipples and areola, not the amount of fatty tissue surrounding them.


Q: My husband and I are a relatively normal swinging couple in our early 50ís. After 15 years in the lifestyle we have been able to experiment with fantasies and most sexual things, however we are open to most things we certainly draw the line when it comes to disgusting behaviour, although that seems to be individual taste more than anything. Recently we have seen online that some couples are into *DOGGING* ??? We are terrified to meet any of these couples ........yuck, is this about animals, gross!!! Being a mature and experienced swinging couple, our pride, shame and sheer fright have made us embarrassed to actually ask these people what it is?? Are we just OLD and not understanding the younger folk, OR are these people really Fucked-Up ???

A: Not to poke fun at your dilemma, but I must admit that I laughed hysterically out-loud when reading your question. I admit that animals in a bedroom is a crime!!! Hell, I was born and raised on a farm, animals in the house wasnít accepted at all. They had their own house, we called it a barn. Well back to your question. DOGGING is a euphemism for engaging in sexual acts in a semi-public place (typically a secluded car park) or watching others doing so. Frequently, there are more than two participants; group sex and sometimes even gang bangs can occur. Observation is encouraged, thus voyeurism and exhibitionism are closely associated with dogging. The two sets of people involved often meet either randomly or (increasingly) arrange to meet-up beforehand. So donít worry, Dogging is simply a slang term for Sex In Public Places.


Q: My husband and I have finally made the decision to do it! We are 49 and 42 and have been married for 17 years. After hearing all about swinging, doing all the research, all the Internet ads, all the magazines, finally weíre going to take the big step and try it for ourselves. Weíve talked for months and feel we can handle seeing each other with others. In fact, every time we talk about it we end up having sex. We decided: safe sex only, same room, no anal, no single or bi males. Only one question: NOW WHAT ???

A: Iím glad to hear that you have taken the time to fully discuss items surrounding the swinging lifestyle. Most couples mistakenly skip over the open and sharing communication necessary prior to *Jumping In*. You are starting off on the right foot.
On your first venture into the swinging scene you may feel somewhat uneasy about seeing your mate with someone else. Everyone has their own reasons for their feelings and all feelings are real and should be respected. To avoid embarrassment or disillusionment, discuss your inhibitions with your mate beforehand. Both of you may be more comfortable after talking to other couples and learning how they handled their first "swinging" experience. Feel free to join in their conversation and you'll find that most of them will be happy to answer any questions you may have about the "swinging" lifestyle. Be open and honest -- tell them that you are new to "swinging" and you'll discover how helpful people can be. It is common for new "swingers" to see others as more verbal than themselves.
Attend an on-premise club or a private house party, and share the uninhibited enjoyment associated with those who have discovered an open, new dimension in this lifestyle. Once you have become familiar with the surroundings and your hosts, try to become as at ease as you would be at any other social gathering. Don't hesitate to introduce yourselves to other people. You'll find them eager to welcome you and to help you blend into their circle of sincere camaraderie. Dress sexy, but if it's your first time and you are not sure of what you plan to do, save slutty for next time. Have a good time, act out your fantasies, explore your sexuality and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude. Many couples who are new to "swinging" often have unrealistic expectations and are not prepared to handle the rejections that may occur. No one is perfect, Don't let your mind be your enemy. Be prepared to handle rejection -- don't take it personally.
On the Donít Side: Don't be "pushy". Donít Over-indulge!!! A few drinks may to help you "relax" but if you have to get high or drunk to swing, you are in the wrong lifestyle.
Remember, you donít HAVE TO have sex at the party just because you attend, however also be sure, youíre not joining the lifestyle to find Bridge partners either. Swinging is about HAVING SEX WITH OTHERS ! Do that as soon as it feels comfortable, whether itís your first party or second isnít important.



Q. As you can probably understand, I am very uncomfortable writing about this, but I need to ask an experienced swinger about my problem. I am a 47 year male with a tiny penis, barely about 5 inches when fully erect. I have been doing some research and reading about psychology. I very much enjoy swinging with my wife. She is bisexual and I am straight. We have enjoyed many, many wonderful experiences. My "issue" is that I get extremely jealous and envious if the other mans penis is larger than mine, and she seems to have this uncanny knack of choosing monster sized men. I often feel inadequate and constantly feel that my masculinity is being compromised and that I am not sexually fulfilling women as much as larger menÖ and the more that women reassure me that I am fine the way I am, the more I believe they are saying it out of pity. I have been dealing with this for a few years now and it has become detrimental to maintaining a healthy swinging lifestyle. I often have love-hate feelings for the man pleasing my wife. I so love and elated that she is enjoying herself and I am euphoric knowing that she is *Getting Off*, however when I think about a guys cock being bigger than mine I feel bad again (hate it). I have never really seen a therapist, but I'm extremely pessimistic that the therapist will think I really do have an inadequate penis. This is an ongoing dilemma and the more I try to understand what to do, the more it troubles me. At times, I think being ignorant about my problems would be beneficial to meÖ or to just think about sex as enjoyable as it should be instead of comparing sizes and feeling awful and defeated.

A. First I think it is important that you address your concerns. A word of caution regarding studying psychology, there is a tendency to scrutinize and over-analyze yourself to the point of making the problems worse. It is compared to a Politician with intelligence, A Little Can Be Very Dangerous. Your question had to deal with your feelings about your penis size. Your feelings about any part of your body are important and ultimately add up to what we describe as our self-image. How we feel about our body, who we are, and how we think other people perceive us can clearly effect how we relate to others and how successful we are in maintaining relationships. I believe that a quality sex therapist that specialises in swinging issues, would explain things in this light:
#1. Clearly, your wife is extremely pleased with your size. If she is happy, then hereís to say that many, many other women will be happy with your performance as well.
#2. There is a confliction in your question however. You state that you have a tiny penis, yet you say that you are 5 inches when erect. While results vary across different studies conducted on adult male penis size, the consensus is that the mean human penis is approximately 12.6Ė15 cm (5.0Ė5.9 in) with the typical girth or circumference being approximately 12.3 cm (4.85 in) around. You are Average !
Swingers Cock #3. Statistics show that 88.7% of men would increase the size of their penis if they safely knew how to do it. You are in a huge majority. One larger than George Bush or Stephen Harper ever knew, and come to think of it, you are probably hung larger than either of them too. No wait, Harper is a pretty big dick, LOL.
#4. You are forgetting one very important thing, the average man ejaculates in less than 3 minutes of insertion into the female. Set the 3-minute egg timer next to the bed, if it empties before you do, YOUR A STUD !!! compared to the average male population.

It is very true that some women are *Size Queens* and totally enjoy the feeling of a large cock stretching her out, and it is obvious that your wife prefers that pleasure occasionally. Look we all enjoy a chauffeur driven limousine as a mode of transportation, however few have one parked in the driveway for the normal daily commute. Seeing that less than 1% of the male population in North America is 8 inches hard, my advice is to enjoy her long stretch limo ride when the opportunity arrives as it is infrequent at best. Donít be jealous of the monster cock that your wife ogles desperately at the next swinging party, allow her to enjoy the experience and share it with her afterwards. The camaraderie and sharing together will certainly cement the foundation of your relationship instead of allowing the resentment, envy and jealousy to destroy the very good thing that you have.

PS. Remember, thereís a down side to every thing. Ever tried to park a full-sized stretch limo? Itís a talent that not everyone can master.




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